I do not want people to be agreeable...

Excited About Housework!

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 14:51:52 GMT

So, one of the things that has been "let go" in new mommy-dom is housework. Because the only time I have the energy to clean is on weekends and D works weekends and the girls want tons of attention at all times, the only real areas that I can keep up on are the kitchen, living room, and dining room. Even then, I'm pretty much cleaning while holding a baby, while feeding a baby, while comforting a baby, or cleaning around two babies playing. Anyway, a co-worker has an 11-year-old stepdaughter that wants to start getting some babysitting experience. So, I've asked her to ask the SD if she would be willing to set up a standing once a month Saturday or Sunday to come over to the house and "babysit" the girls while I clean other areas of my house. Co-worker thinks SD would be ecstatic to watch the babies and I can get caught up on my housekeeping. (Honestly, I'm very OCD and I hate seeing all the dust/dirt on my floors/counters.)

Ear Infection

Tue, 06 Nov 2007 19:35:30 GMT

Poor Keighly has been fussy all weekend - runny nose, a slight cough while sleeping, wanting to be held constantly. We've just been letting everything run its course, but yesterday when I got home she had a temperature of 100 degrees, her left ear and cheek were bright red and she kept pulling on her left ear. I called the Triage nurse and she recommended bringing her into the office this morning. So I brought her in and confirmed she had an ear infection.

We got a prescription but will not be filling it at this time. Because kids these days are so over-medicated, doctors are now recommending that kids be allowed to let ear infections run their course without antibiotics. We're going to give her baby Tylenol regularly to help with pain but will not fill the prescription unless the infection won't go away.

Slacking at Work Again

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 20:24:47 GMT

Because all women love Tom Selleck.

http://www.cubeslacker.com/content/view/149/36/

Some content may not be horribly suitable for work viewing - luckily they can't afford to fire me right now cause they can't get anyone to take one of the two open positions as it is.

Our Halloween Update

Fri, 02 Nov 2007 11:55:06 GMT

Although the Customer Support Supervisor felt the need to scream "Yeah, but they're really girls" to the rest of her department, Batman and Robin were the hit of the office Trick or Treating. They had everyone cooing over them, especially once they got past their initial shock and broke out the smiles. They also collected waaay too much chocolate for infants. Luckily one woman was smart enough to know it would be the infant/toddler set in the office and brought animal crackers :)

We spent the evening working grandma and grandpa over for whatever we could. Both girls walked out in new pajamas and full of sugar. Oh well, it's once a year and it didn't seem to affect their sleep at all. They both passed out on the way home and didn't wake up until late the next morning. Keighly had to be woke up at 9 for a 10 am appointment and Audrey finally woke up about 9:30.

The only thing that didn't really sit well with me was the woman in the office who hadn't realized that I had twins or that they were so early. D got caught with her while Audrey and I were talking to another co-worker and he wound up telling her they were so early. We then get the inevitable "Are they okay?" Since we're not at all ashamed of the fact that Keighly has CP, we told her Keighly had CP. She was so over the top in telling us how sorry she was and how hard it must be for us that I really wanted to vomit. Hey lady, pity not wanted and/or needed. This was further compounded when Keighly came home from her appointment on Thursday with her Ankle-Foot Orthosis. I'm really going to have to figure out how to handle these morons because it is now obvious to others that Keighly is special needs and the comments aren't going to stop. I just cringe thinking about the first "well-meaning" comment that Keighly understands. How does one protect her little girl from the ignorance of the world?

A More Uplifting Post for Today

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 12:17:06 GMT

As we approach 17 months, the girls are getting bigger, faster, and wilier. I'm not sure how much longer D and I will be able to keep up with them :)

Audrey has quite the little kegger on her and her new favorite activity is to run around the house in her diaper and slap her stomach. I'm trying to teach her "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts" but she can't quite keep rhythm. She's also learned "kisses." Unfortunately, she appears to have learned them from her daddy and licks instead of puckers. Also, rather unfortunately, she firmly believes kisses go on the lips and not on the cheek. Needless to say Audrey kisses are not for the feint of heart.

Keighly continues to amaze us with her unwillingness to let Audrey get too far ahead of her. Audrey loves to help mommy in the kitchen with supper (mainly by removing every piece of tupperware from our tupperware cupboard) and lately Keighly's not been content to remain in the living room with daddy. Mommy and Audrey will disappear into the kitchen and Keighly will slowly but surely make her way out after us. It's amazing to watch her make the strides she does. She also amazed us last night by pushing away her ravioli at suppertime in favor of her broccoli. It looks like Mommy's new healthy lifestyle with Weight Watchers is paying off for the whole family!

We've got a big day tomorrow with trips to Cub and SPS to show off our Halloween costumes. I've tried to convince people at work that they're too little for candy, but I'm pretty sure I'm being disregarded. Oh well, people will get some baby time and I'll get some more candy to pass out to other trick or treaters. Tomorrow night we'll be going to grandma and grandpa's house to see our cousins.

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 13:20:45 GMT

My mom finally got a hold of me via phone this weekend. The conversation went something like this:

Mom - I haven't heard from you for a while. Is everything okay?
Me - Everything's fine. I'm just not interested in letters right now.
Mom - (crying) That wasn't me. I had nothing to do with any of that. (I'm a victim is implied.)
Me - (eyes rolling) Well, I don't understand why it's such a big deal if I stay with Roxy since her house is quieter for the girls.
Mom - I never cared that you stayed at Roxy's. I told you to do what you had to do. I was just going to see MY GRANDCHILDREN.
Me - Well, apparently that changed once I left because apparently you're depressed and it's all my fault. I doubt grandma got that idea all on her own without any theatrics from you.
Mom - Everything's all my fault. I can't do anything right. (Once again, I'm a victim is implied.)
Me - Look, I don't have time for bs letters that claim dad's got diabetes because of me and that you have depression because of me. I certainly don't have time for letters that say Roxy is a "snake in the grass" and that she's a horrible person I should have nothing to do with. Not one of you people came when I was on bed rest and YOUR GRANDCHILDREN almost died. Roxanne was there the day after I called and didn't leave until you finally did show up 2 f'ing weeks later.
Mom - Well, did you call me?
Me - You know what, I'm done. I'm taking a break right now.
Click

I can't even begin to believe the gall of this woman. Somehow it's my fault she didn't come even once while I was on bedrest because I didn't call her?!?! I called her that Friday night on my way to the f'ing hospital with no clue what was going on. I guess I didn't realize I had to beg her to come.

And I'm so tired of the "Tommy's Twins" and "my grandchildren" bs I could puke. These are my children and quite honestly, they don't know you from a hole in the wall.

You Know You've Outgrown New Parentdom...

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 14:02:49 GMT

...when you let your child eat off the floor. And not just anything off the floor but the half-eaten, slobbered all over by her sister frozen waffle from approximately 6 hours earlier. Audrey managed to find the rest of Keighly's waffle from about 10 on the kitchen floor at about 4. I watched her pick it up, briefly pondered taking it away from her, and decided it wasn't worth the fight. She proceeded to polish off said waffle.

Work Weight Loss Challenge

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 18:09:27 GMT

I've been doing Weight Watchers but I'm reaching that point where it's getting a little stale. Then, they sent out an announcement for a Weight Loss Challenge at work. Basically, we each pay in $22. We then set a personal goal for the amount of weight we would like to lose over the next 16 weeks. If we meet our personal goal, we get $20 back. The person who loses the highest percentage gets the extra $2 and any of the money from those who do not make their personal goal. This is perfect for me - I know I won't be the biggest loser as I've been dieting since June, but just getting my money back will keep me on track.

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 16:56:28 GMT

We had another appointment with our Rehabilitation Doctor at Gillette yesterday. 4 freaking hours later we were on our way. They schedule the appointment at the Minnetonka clinic which means about a one hour drive for us. Once at the clinic, we had to wait to see the doc - Audrey's appointment was scheduled at 9:40 and Keighly's was scheduled at 10. We finally saw him around 10:45. During our visit with him, we decided to get Keighly's first set of leg braces - this would require molds of her legs. It took until 12:15 for an orthotic specialist to come in and make the molds. Now, we were offered to reschedule the molds for another day, but that's another day off and another one hour drive so we waited it out. Anyway, our new braces should be ready in about 2 weeks and will be used mainly during therapy at first.

In good news, it's always nice to have a doctor tell you he wouldn't change anything with the girls right now. We've got the right mix of therapy with down time going for them. In even better news, D and the MIL have to take them to get flu shots today - mom doesn't have to go!

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 13:24:20 GMT

Well, we've started cold/flu season again. Last year, the girls were on virtual lock-down and left the house a total of 3 times for something other than doctor's visits. Just last month at our 15-month checkup we were told that we would not have to be nearly so strict and that the girls wouldn't even qualify for Synagis shots (RSV vaccination) this year. So instead of being quarantined at home, we are planning on just keeping them out of grocery stores, church, etc but bringing them to visit friends and family.

Anyway, on Friday I got home to a message on my answering machine from Pediatric Home Services. Not a big deal right? They service Keighly's pump and provide our equipment for said pump. Wrong! Dr. Chawla actually wrote orders for Synagis shots and it's actually been approved through BCBS. Shock of all shocks - a health insurance company that believes preventative measures are better than hospital stays. However, these shots are not cheap. The shots themselves are $1800 a month and the home health nurse visit is $200 a month. That's per child for a total of $4000 a month. This is billed as outpatient hospital care and is not a basic $15 co-pay. Instead, it's 20% for a cost to us of $800 a month.

I'm really torn right now because I know the girls need these shots and I'm ecstatic that BCBS will even cover the $3200 a month. BUT, D and I don't have $800 a month laying around. We have just enough in savings to cover these but it will leave us next to nothing when our next "emergency" strikes. Am I a horrible parent if I can't get these shots for my girls? Do I get the shots and charge them to my CC because I have no other choice? Right now, I'm waiting for the doc to call us back since the last we heard from her was that we didn't need the shots.

EDIT: Doc called back and HIGHLY recommends these shots.
EDIT 2: Whew... I called Pediatric Home Services to get some clarification on costs. Turns out we pay 20% of the home health nurse visit which is billed at $230, is reduced to $150 by BCBS, and will cost us $30 a kid per month. We then get billed for the medication which is a $15 co-pay. $90 a month I can handle, $800 a month not so doable.

Meeting with Director

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:32:41 GMT

Just got done with my salary meeting with my Director. It went really well. We didn't discuss numbers, but I at least got a chance to show what I had done above and beyond this year. She seemed amazed and kept repeating that she "never would have known" if I hadn't scheduled this meeting. She is going to convince HR to do a Market Analysis Research and was even more impressed when I handed her my research. *fingers crossed*

Because I Wasn't Busy Enough

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 16:59:43 GMT

Keighly needs lots of early intervention therapy. To date, she receives in-home therapy from the school district every Tuesday at 1:15. On Thursday mornings, she receives Physical Therapy/Occupational Therapy co-treats at 9am. I've rearranged my schedule to where I come in at 11 so I can take her to the Thursday morning appointments. Today, we've added Speech Therapy to the mix - not once a week, but twice a week. These appointments will be on Mondays at 4:30 and Wednesdays at 3. The Monday appointment is fine (I'm off at 3 anyway), but I'll have to rearrange work to leave at 2 for the Wednesday appointment.

I know that the therapy is working. (Just this week, we've figured out how to get our left hand out of the way to army crawl throughout the house.) I also know that the more we hit it early on, the better she'll be in the long run. But, I'M EXHAUSTED. I may not have project management skills at work, but that's all I do at home. In addition to the therapy appointments, I juggle appointments with the pediatricition, the neurologist, the opthamologist, and the rehabilitation doctor on a regular basis. I then have to figure in the "just-in-case" appointments (i.e., cardiology and audiology). Once all of these are scheduled, I then have to decide if I can rearrange my schedule to go to these appointments, if both D and I should go, if I can't go find someone to help D go. And now, we add 2 more weekly appointments onto this. I can't remember the last time I actually talked to my husband let alone slept with him. I run on approximately 5-6 hours of sleep a night. I just want to cry.

Important Meeting Scheduled

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 19:20:40 GMT

A meeting has just been scheduled with my director for Friday. Said meeting is to discuss my salary. While I really can't believe I had the guts to ask for this meeting, my director was more than happy to schedule something. She told me to bring my expectations with reasoning behind said expectations and she would bring hers. I'm nervous/glad to get an opportunity to discuss my salary frustrations. Hopefully all goes well!

Halloween Costumes - Accomplished

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 11:54:25 GMT

Well, I managed to horrify my MIL last night. (Not really, but she would just go very girly if she would have gotten to have one daughter let alone identical daughters.) D showed her the girls' Halloween costumes for this year and I'm sure she was thinking fairies or princesses or something so pink my head hurts thinking about it - but, D and I don't like to stand upon gender roles so the girls will be going as Batman and Robin this year. I'm sure there will be plenty of princesses once they're old enough to choose their own costumes.

Typical Man

Thu, 27 Sep 2007 16:19:19 GMT

D has to work tonight, so I had to come in early instead of taking Keighly to therapy. So D had to load both kids up and take them. Keighly goes back and does her work and Audrey plays with the other kids stuck waiting for siblings in the waiting room. Apparently, there's one little boy that Audrey adores. Unfortunately, he does not share the love. Today, when she kept getting in his face, he pushed her down and then started to cry.

Is it wrong that it amuses the hell out of me that he pushed her down AND THEN STARTED TO CRY?

Any Ideas?

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 15:30:46 GMT

D and I have decided to celebrate the girls' "Homecoming" day. Since twins get stuck sharing birthdays (that traditional "all about you" celebration day), we figured this would give the girls one day a year where the focus was solely on each one as individuals and not on the two of them as an entity. We're planning on keeping the festivities family-oriented and focused on how each girl contributes equally to our family. In the future, these days will most likely be the girls picking a fun activity that we all then participate in. However, I'd like to start some kind of fun tradition with their first. Audrey's first Homecoming day will be next Tuesday (she's only been home for one year?!?) and I'm still at a loss for a tradition. Does anyone have any ideas they'd be willing to share? Also, since Audrey LOVES herself a Wendy's Frosty, would it be silly just to go to Wendy's for dinner?

Two Posts in One Day - Both Excellent News

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 17:37:30 GMT

D just took Keighly to another swallow study to see if we could begin to give her bottles again. While we are not able to give her regular formula, we are able to give her a specialized bottle with thickened formula (basically 1 TBSP of rice cereal per 1 oz of formula). Slowly but surely!

NICU Follow-Up Visit - 1 Year Corrected

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 12:23:29 GMT

We had our NICU Follow-Up visits on Friday afternoon. All in all, it was a good visit.

Audrey - Audrey was right where she needed to be. She did well on the BAYLEY test and made sure to let every doc who looked at her know how outraged she was. I don't know if it's a good thing that every doc we see says she either "spritied" or "strong-willed" but there it is - my onrey baby.

Keighly - Keighly did fabulous. She scored exactly the same as Audrey did on the cognitive portion of the BAYLEY test (YAY). The clinic gave us a splint for her left thumb to help pull that thumb away from the hand so she can use it more effectively.

However, I was a little annoyed/confused by the NICU OT. This woman just really struck me as rude and unprofessional. First, she saw Keighly for a whopping 30 minutes. During this 30 minutes, she's telling us all about how she could never work for the school district because they only care about test scores and don't actually provide therapy for the kids (as she's issuing a test which the school district has never done) and then tells us that she had to issue Keighly's test because her colleague couldn't handle such a hard case. She then leaves the room to score Keighly's test and comes back to tell us our private therapy isn't good enough and we need to move to Gillette for therapy. Now, we left Gillette because the red tape was just to difficult to work through. Plus, Keighly's only had 3 appointments at the FAC and she's still mostly crying through them as she gets used to the therapists. But, she has begun a little commando crawling and is using her left hand more and eating more. We're not expecting miracles after 3 visits, but we have seen improvement and are pleased with our choice. It just annoyed me that this woman could decide after 30 minutes that D and I are making horrible choices with our girl.

MY BABY GIRL CRAWLED

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:21:22 GMT

yesterday in therapy. It wasn't for very long (once she figured out the therapist would keep moving the toy back she stopped and refused to go futher) and it was only the army man/elbows & toes kind of crawl, but still not bad for a girl that wasn't supposed to leave a wheelchair!!

You've got to be kidding me

Mon, 17 Sep 2007 19:05:00 GMT

My dad's sister just emailed me. Her and her kids; my other aunt and her kids; my grandma; and possibly my mom are coming up to the cities this weekend. I've been avoiding my grandma and my mother like the plague after the letter incident - god this sucks. Why can't family just be normal?!?!?

So Very, Very Spoiled

Mon, 17 Sep 2007 12:22:54 GMT

So, my children are spoiled. At first, I thought I had to do something about this but then I just gave up and decided to go with the flow.

My MOMs sale was this weekend. Since D works weekends, my in-laws came over about 6 (I worked setup crew and had to be there early) and took the girls once they were up and moving. When they came home at 5:30 that night, they had new outfits on and new PJs in a bag. They also had a full bag of various kid treats (the sweet potato bites, veggie wheels, etc). Audrey was clinging to grandma like she never wanted to let go (which, honestly, who can blame her? I'd never want to leave either if all we did was shop and eat). This was all in addition to the new clothes mom had picked up at the sale - a full wardrobe of 6-9 month fall/winter clothes, 2 winter coats, and 2 snowsuits.

THEN, my MIL called back at about 7 to ask if she could buy the girls their next car seats for Christmas. D said we'd think about it and I asked what there was to think about. Car seats that we need and will use or more toys that we don't need to take up even more room in my living room.

I love having great in-laws that love to spoil my kids.

15 Month Check Up

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 14:36:12 GMT

We had our 15 month check ups yesterday. (Can you believe my peanuts are 15 months old?!?!)

Audrey is tracking right where she should when age corrected. Luckily, the doc likes to see some attitude cause she's got plenty of it and is not afraid to share. She's to remain on formula for another 3 months to try to get onto the full term growth charts. The doc thinks she'll be there by 21 months - right on schedule. It takes until the age of 2 to fully catch up.

Keighly is tracking at about 5 months but the doc is very impressed to hear she's rolling to get to where she wants. She says that they don't track this because most babies start to crawl but that it's a very cerebral activity and proves she's thinking. She was also really impressed with the solids Keighly is eating and has scheduled another swallow study to see if we can reintroduce liquids. Getting rid of the g-tube would be fabulous so *fingers crossed* In the meantime, she's expecting to see huge gains as we begin private therapy.

The best news was that we don't have to do total quarantine this winter. We should refrain from grocery stores, church, and other public areas where total strangers think it's acceptable to grab small children, but can have them around other children. The doc thinks an ECFE class would do Audrey good, but agreed that it would be too much for Keighly at this point. So I'm going to try to get Audrey enrolled for next semester - classes are already full for this semester.

All in all, we had a good positive visit and the MMR shot didn't seem to affect the girls as badly as the doc thought it would. YAY!

WTF

Mon, 10 Sep 2007 12:56:49 GMT

I'm so completely, totally, f#@king done with family - I cannot take anymore and cannot even pretend to care.

The last time I brought the girls to Sioux Falls to visit, I decided to stay with my Aunt Roxy. My main reason for this was to give the girls a quiet place to relax after the extreme busyness/overstimulation of my grandmother's house. We got to Sioux Falls about 5 on Saturday. Because they had just endured a 4 1/2 hour car ride, I decided to just stay at Roxy's on Saturday night. The girls relaxed, got to know their surroundings, and went to bed about 7. On Sunday, we were up bright and early so that we could get dressed for church and out the door for 9:30am Mass. After Mass, we went to a family reunion in Canton (about 45 minutes away). After the reunion, we decided to go back to my grandmother's house so the girls could take a nap. INSTEAD, my mother got on her phone and called a bunch of strangers I don't even know to come over and visit the girls. My dad's sisters and their kids then came over. Suffice it to say, naps didn't happen. Finally, at about 6, I brought the girls back to Roxy's to calm them down and get them to bed about 8. On Monday, we met my dad's sister for lunch and then went over to her house that night so everyone could see the girls again. My mother decided she had laundry to do and didn't bother to come. On Tuesday, Audrey threw up all over Roxy's floor. Keighly had been throwing up all weekend, but I chalked it up to reflux and we had an appointment with the chiropractor scheduled for Thursday. When Audrey threw up, I knew she was really not feeling well. I had the car loaded and the girls ready to head out by 10. We met my dad at McDonald's for what I assumed was lunch before heading out. Instead, I was expected to bring the girls to his bank, to McDonald's Corporate Offices, and to the McDonald's across town where my mom worked. WTF?!? My kids don't feel well and need to get home. We ate lunch and left.

NOW - my parents have not attempted to contact my once since I left Sioux Falls. Apparently, they tell everyone down there what a terrible daughter I am because I have a relationship with Roxy. My father tells everyone that his diabetes is acting up because of all the stress I've placed on him. My mother tells everyone she didn't get to see the girls enough because she only saw them on Sunday (I'm sorry. Did I tell you to do laundry on Monday instead of coming to see them?).

Anyway, I got a lovely ~~guilt trip~~ letter from my grandmother on Saturday. In it, she single-handedly blames me for my father's diabetes and my mother's depression. Apparently, she talked to her doctor who said that stress is the worst thing for diabetes and that my father's is acting up because he's so stressed not knowing what going on with his twins. Okay - One: HIS TWINS?!?! Fuck that. These are my babies and the ONLY other person who can say "my babies" is their daddy (and even he's questionable). Two: I'm sure his diabetes is acting up because he's stressed about the girls. It would have nothing to do with the fact that he won't make healthy choices and instead eats McDonald's daily. AND STRESS? You want to talk to me about stress?!?! Try laying in bed on bed rest thinking that your body is completely betraying you and you could lose not one but two babies at any moment. Try lining up phones next to your bedside EVERY NIGHT FOR 139 DAYS because tonight could be the night the hospital calls to tell you one of your babies didn't make it. Try being taken into a small room and told that your child may never do more but sit in a wheelchair and drool. Try raising special needs preemie twin girls with absolutely no emotional support from your family because they're more worried about how everything affects them. Try all of that and then talk to me about fucking stress.

At this point, I won't even bother to respond to the letter and will avoid phone calls for a while. Once I've calmed down and can discuss this like an adult, I'll let them know not to expect anything from me for quite a while.

Our First Day of Therapy

Fri, 07 Sep 2007 12:00:20 GMT

Keighly had her first day of private therapy yesterday - DID NOT GO WELL. They like to bring the kids back to the therapy rooms and work with them without parents present. All well and good. Keighly, however, does not go to daycare and is used to always having mom or dad present for at least visual reassurance. Yesterday, she was taken by 2 therapists and mom had to wait in the waiting room. I could hear the screams the whole time and when I was finally brought back she had these huge, crocodile tears streaming down her face. Poor thing! It will definately get better as she gets to know the therapists, but I think it was too much too soon yesterday. First, she had to wake up early and rush out of the house and then strangers expected her to do work :(

The good news is that we're close to our first goal of sitting. Hopefully, she'll be sitting on her own in the next month or two.

Well That Just Sucks

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 18:01:12 GMT

So the only person whose been in this role for over a year is moving to another department in 2 weeks. We are already operating one Analyst short and without a Project Manager to oversee operations. We will now be operating two Analysts short and still no Project Managers in sight. We will also be divying up his 278 accounts - this in addition to the 306 I already have. Normal account load is less than 150.

*sigh*